Okay, so now the CIA is telling us again Russia is trying to interfere in our next election. Nobody finds that a little bit strange? That the CIA, which is our clandestine, highly secretive, intelligence service tasked with all things—TOP SECRET—somehow finds the need to tell everybody Russia is planning on fucking up our next election, again?
Isn't that your one job? You're supposed to fix the problem in secret and not tell everybody what you're doing. Why are you always telling us what's going on but not doing anything about it? And why are you telling me? What can I do about it? It's not my job. That's your job. Just do your job. And your job doesn't include tricking people on TV how much you suck at your job.
First off, it's not ever your place to tell anybody anything, let alone CNN, NY Times or the Washington Post. We pay you to figure this shit out in the background and find a way to make it go away. We don't pay you to be hanging around the breakroom at CNN. It just looks weird is all I'm saying.
Back in the day Bob Woodward would meet Deep Throat in a parking garage after the bars closed looking over his shoulder. Now you're on primetime with your "intelligence assessments" once a week telling us stuff you're not supposed to tell us. And everything is flipped upside down. Liberals used to be the ones skeptical of our intelligence services, now it's the Republican party calling out their bullshit. Rachel Maddow has CIA cock shoved so far down her throat it's amazing she can still walk and talk at the same time.
You told us (not supposed to tell us) we had this same Russian influence problem four years ago. We already know you're working with all the tech companies. What have you been doing all this time? You still can't find a way to get YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Google to NOT spread dangerous Russian propaganda?
I can get kicked off Facebook from my troll farm in two seconds typing out the wrong word or posting a picture of my own dick. They know I posted a woman's nipple within a fraction of a second. Facebook obviously has the latest tit scanning software. Ask them to help you rig that shit up to scan Russian memes. Somehow it's still slipping past you? Can't find the block button? And you find the need to tell us this while we already know you work in the sub-basement at Facebook and Twitter?
Whether it's the CIA saying Russia is hacking our election or Trump telling us mail in voting is rigged. They're both essentially keeping people frightened about the results. Neither one has shown much evidence of anything. You know what we do have evidence of? The Postmaster General Louis DeJoy started removing sorting machines at various Post Offices during a pandemic right when a shit ton of people decided to vote by mail. We have pictures of that. Not your job? Doesn’t interest you?
If you really gave a fuck about Russian influence to get Trump re-elected all the goddam software we use to count the votes would be open source. Companies like Diebold use proprietary software so nobody can even see what they’re doing. You’d have a back door set up in their shit and disappear any fucker trying to tip the scales.
We’d use block chain to vote so everyone had a copy of the results on their hard drive. If you really gave a fuck you’d be looking into gerrymandering, you’d provide people a paper trail, you’d keep an eye on all the Republicans removing poor people off the voter rolls. You’d ask why polling locations always get shut down in Democratic neighborhoods. You and I can both see this happening with our own eyes and it's been going on for years. Do you think Putin was behind it all back then too?
You helped fund facial recognition technology in 1966 for fuck sake but can’t recognize a Russian meme in 2020? Seriously? You’ve been keeping an eye on elections and vote rigging all over the world. This is your thing dude. You know this. Seems like you’d already have the software installed but maybe those Russians are so sneaky they always get around it even though they didn’t develop a commercial processor with a backdoor until 2014. You had 500 GHz crunching numbers in 1965. I couldn't buy one over the counter until 2000. You've been 35 years ahead of everything. Who the fuck knows what you have now.
Do I sound like a conspiracy theorist? Why is it my conspiracy theories are always batshit crazy when I can see this with my own eyes but yours are always backed up with sound logic when you can’t provide any clear evidence?