Sunday, May 22. 2011
I wonder if Harold Camping has killed himself yet. In fact, if he hasn't already, I would suggest that his next plan of action should be to kick start the rapture himself by sticking a 9 mm in his mouth.
Friday, April 22. 2011
If you visit here often you've probably noticed it's been real quiet for a while.
Wednesday, August 4. 2010
A couple of nights ago I experienced what is commonly known as sleep paralysis. I've had a minor occurrence of it before, but on this occasion I found myself overcome with a feeling of intense terror. This coupled with what looked like a tall dark figure that appeared to be breaking into reality through one of the corners of my room next to the door. The figure was gaunt and somewhat Nospheratu-like in stature with what looked like a wide-brimmed had on it's head. I couldn't make out its features but my ears were filled with a pulsating sound and my body seemed to be vibrating as though I was somehow being phased out of reality, beamed up, or probed by some kind of scanner.
Sunday, July 11. 2010
Does anyone else feel the same way that I do about the internet?
Continue reading "Shutting The Fuck Up Is The New Talking"
Sunday, July 4. 2010
"All the levers forward, all the time," was one of the text messages I received from the Sergeant Matron prior to the gig, however, on this occasion I think that one of the levers broke off from the control panel and his comment of being "45 going on 15" seems more appropriate as an epitaph to mark the memory of this occasion.
Continue reading "Gig Review: Shooglenifty - Gigha Island Music Festival (June 26th 2010)"
Thursday, July 1. 2010
Just submitted this for consideration in next week's local press...
Sunday, May 30. 2010
I'm taking my new bike and going on a wild and crazy bothy bagging expedition across the Scottish Highlands for an extended period.
Tuesday, May 11. 2010
Congratulations are in order, to the person who stole my dark silver Carrera AM Fury mountain bike from the Kirkgate in Dunfermline on Saturday afternoon. It was chained to the gates of the Abbey just outside The Creepy Wee Pub, however the thief managed to crack the combination lock in broad daylight and make off with the bike from right under my nose as I sat next to the window enjoying a beer in the boozer.
Sunday, May 2. 2010
Well, as I'm sure many of you will already know, it's General Election time here in the UK and all these useless little cunts that you've never seen or heard from since the last General Election are out blazing the campaign trail, presenting us with fake sentiments, fabricated promises and counterfeit smiles.
Saturday, April 17. 2010
My apologies for the lack of updates to the site recently. I've been off the grid once again having cycled from Dumfries back home to Dunfermline, spending nights in bothies all the way home.
Thursday, April 1. 2010
Alright you twisted freaks! I had to jump through hoops of fire to try get hold of this stuff. Here's the low-down:
Tuesday, March 30. 2010
This is exactly what the late Jeremy Beadle would've been doing if he had been a Fundamentalist Christian. Personally, I find it highly amusing for all the wrong reasons.
Sunday, March 28. 2010
For a band that I only discovered last year, I've now seen Shooglenifty play live more times than any other band I like. Why? Well, to put it simply, this band are completely mindblowing and it seems that whenever they play it is utterly impossible to avoid becoming possessed by one's inner hobo. In other words, jigging about all over the joint like that crazy old dude in the movie Deliverance (during the 'dueling banjos' scene) becomes mandatory. The exception to this rule, however, was the recent Portobello gig that I went to with my uptight Edinburgh friends. Having decided beforehand that they weren't going to enjoy it, it was no surprise that they couldn't get into the Shoogles. But then they think Kunt And The Gang are actually talented and - worse still - funny, when Kunt is clearly just an annoying, talentless little shit from Essex and a Roy 'Chubby' Brown of the music world.
Continue reading "Gig Review: Shooglenifty - Tolbooth (March 27th 2010)"
Tuesday, January 26. 2010
At the time of writing this, Google News lists exactly 620 articles telling us that the UK is out of recession.
Friday, January 22. 2010
Personally, I think she's utter shit. However, the internet does seem to be awash with references to her use of occult symbolism.
Friday, January 15. 2010
I must confess that I stopped listening to Douglas Rushkoff’s Media Squat several months ago when it cut back on original content and started broadcasting talks from "media squatters" of the past. Not that these talks weren’t of interest, you understand, it’s just that I’ve heard most of them before and would rather hear the opinions of people living through the crisis of today.
Continue reading "Media Squat - Food For Thought"
Thursday, January 14. 2010
I decided to have a go at my useless local authority again. Basically the problem is that the obnoxious, incompetent fuckwits will do anything but provide us with a service. Check this link out.
Friday, December 25. 2009
Darth Benedict XVI was wrestled to the ground by a female member of the rebellion yesterday, who breached the security barriers at the start of this year's Xmas Eve Black Mass.
Tuesday, December 15. 2009
“The first Paraffin Crusade starts here. We must banish the pernicious tyranny of the butane/propane canister.” (Text message from The Sergeant Matron, December 13th 2009).
Continue reading "Paraffinpunk: A Media Underground Manifesto"
Sunday, December 6. 2009
A while ago Ken Eakins of Right Where You Are Sitting Now asked me to contribute a regular column to his website whereby, each week, I teach you ways of keeping 'The Man' on his toes.
Continue reading "Mortimer's Guide To Armchair Anarchy #5"
Sunday, November 22. 2009
So there we were. The Bothy Council: Dasbo The Asbo, Bingo McNeely, The Bailiff, Sergeant Matron and myself, Darth Paraffin, flaffing around with tents outside Glenuig Village Hall on a wet Saturday afternoon in November, simply because we knew we’d be too drunk to make it back to The Matron’s gaff later that evening.
Continue reading "Gig Review: Shooglenifty - Glenuig Hall (Nov 14th 2009)"
Tuesday, June 16. 2009
Back to work and back on the grid after several weeks off the beaten track. A couple of nights were spent wild camping, whilst another two were shacked up in Youth Hostels just to get the occasional much needed shower. The rest of the time was spent crashing in bothies in some amazing and beautiful locations that I have come to refer to as "my back garden".
Tuesday, June 2. 2009
Back briefly after 150-odd miles of cycling. It's been one hell of an adventure so far and I'll be back on the road either tomorrow or Thursday after a couple of days of much needed rest. The cycle path infrastructure of Scotland is superb and it's not too difficult to stay off the beaten track when travelling between towns for supplies.
Sunday, May 24. 2009
Alright you twisted freaks! I'm getting off the grid for a while.
Sunday, December 14. 2008
Media Underground forum member, magari has kindly created a cipher calculator based around the findings put forward in my ebook The Key Of It All.
Saturday, December 13. 2008
Ken Eakins of Right Where You Are Sitting Now asked me to contribute a regular column to his website whereby, each week, I teach you ways of keeping 'The Man' on his toes. Here's this week's instalment...
Continue reading "Mortimer's Guide To Armchair Anarchy #4"
Sunday, December 7. 2008
I've decided to make freely available my study of the cipher in Liber AL (chapter II, verse 76). This means that paperback copies of The Key Of It All will no longer be available to purchase.
Sunday, November 30. 2008
This week Ken Eakins, Claire Lumière and myself speak to author, professor and media theorist Douglas Rushkoff about advertising, the state of the economy, conspiracy culture, the next renaissance and his views on the recent U.S. election.
Friday, November 28. 2008
A few days ago I asked members of the media underground forum if they wanted any changes to the way it was presented. The concensus seemed to be that the forum had become stagnant, difficult to navigate and over-run with fruitless posts and discussions. As a result I've wiped the whole thing clean of all entries and set up new discussion categories in an attempt to inject some fresh life into it. I've also decided to be a little more ruthless with the rules in an attempt to inspire some intelligent and articulate debate for once.
Sunday, November 23. 2008