Wednesday, January 3. 2007
James Inman: '9-11, My Computer & The Secret Cult Of Doubt'
I really don’t know what to believe anymore. The more I look into what happened on 9-11 the more I see a riddle wrapped up in an enigma fucking a unicorn, inside a maze with a fake piece of cheese at the end.
Most people I talk to look at me like a nutbag when I bring up 9-11. It’s like talking about crop circles. You get the same stare and laugh. First they drop their jaw a bit and there’s a moment of seriousness. Then the head flies back and to the left with laughter. “Yeah right. Whatever. Sure the government pulled it all off. It was those crazy Towelheads and you know it.”
Those crazy Towelheads? That secret organization Al Qaeda? Let’s look at this for a second. Let’s say the official story is true. I know I’m going out on a limb with this but just roll with me. I'll coin a phrase that may or may not be under copyright. Let's roll! Let’s say a secret group of nutbags who want to control the world attacked America because they hate our freedom and Allah told them to or they’re just pissed at us because we support Israel and blah blah blah. The official story in and of itself implies that there is at least one secret group out there roaming the earth causing chaos and war. Somewhere in the world we are told there is a group of men plotting world domination. Now my question is this. Is that the only secret group? A bunch of Towelheads living in caves eating camel dung have a secret cult? They are the only group conspiring to control the world? Everyone else is on the up and up? On the square? Sorry, weird joke but it seemed to fit.
Look at it like this. If even one piece of evidence proves the existence of UFOs then that is a very frightening thought. UFOs exist. Someone from another planet is coming here. They have spaceships and they fly around looking at our shit. They are from another PLANET! With life and cities and houses with beds and aliens snoring - drooling out of their mouth - late for work. In another star system! Stars you say? How many stars are there? Oh Jesus H. Christ! There are a shit load of stars in the universe and they are as uncountable as grains of sand in my neighbors play pen next door and those yard apes are always waking me up at seven in the morning. I think they are retarded. We are fucked.
Ok so a secret group exists. The president has told us. We trust him. Shit is hitting the fan. It's so secret we can’t even talk about it. Even when you’re at a bar chatting about the latest news and maybe you mention 9-11 or crop circles people laugh and shake their head. They must be in a secret group too because they don't want to talk about it. How big is this secret group? It’s everywhere. Everyone I talk to is part of it. The conversation goes nowhere. Granted I’ll have to admit some people are part of my secret group. They nod and agree and say we are all fucked. We have our secret hand shake. Our signals and inside jokes. I’m not sure if it’s that organized. Come on let’s face it most of us are lazy. We don’t show up at meetings and none of us agree. We drink all the time and download pornography. But it’s a group just the same. “Hi my name is James Inman and I’m an alcoholic. I’m a conspiracy nut and I have Hot Moms.com in my address bar.”
Let me just open up a bit and tell you a secret. The information highway has cracked open my head. I’m losing my goddamned mind and I don’t know what to believe anymore. And for fuck sake I thank God or Bill Gates or whoever gave me my first computer. Ok ok I know the name of the guy who set me up but I can’t tell you because he’s part of the group and it’s a secret. We still chat every now and then. He told me this joke when I first got online and I called to thank him. It was four in the morning and I had been reading the complete medical history on Nietzsche’s colon.
"What the fuck! I can't get away from this machine! What did you do to me?"
He said, “The first one is free.”
The first one is free? As in he's a goddamned crack dealer and now I’m knocking on his door at all hours of the day. I don’t know what to believe. I'm filled with doubt and it is total freedom.
Ever read the first line in the Koran? “This book shall not be doubted!” Yeah right. What a joke!